The National Parks of Emotion project and the connections I’m making with so many of you who have participated give me a sense of purpose and meaning during these uncertain times when I have no idea what’s happening next—among so many other things, when I’ll be able to see my family or close friends who live in the states. I’m in Canada, and I haven’t seen my parents since February 2020. My dad’s 80th birthday was this past week. They both received the vaccine, and I’m incredibly grateful for that, so it just feels like a matter of holding on and being patient. But it’s still really hard. I know so many of you are dealing with similar separations. I’ve received a couple submissions about the National Park of Yearning, and I related instantly. Here’s one that really hit me, I feel like I could have written it myself:
It’s a deep valley and I’m at the very bottom, waiting to get out. I’ve been here since March. There are times when it feels like I have climbed for so long and I’m nearly out, nearly at the top. Like there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. When I reach the top, I will get to see my family that I have been so desperately missing for 9 months—the US-Canada border keeping us apart.
But then the camera pans back out, and I see that I’ve still got a long way to go. The cases keep rising, the lockdowns continue, the border remains shut. I long to be reunited with my family. I think of how magical it will be when I see them again.
I’ve experienced a particularly intense loss of a loved one before, so I am not completely unfamiliar with these feelings of missing and yearning and longing.
I yearn to be close to them, to hear my niece laugh again, to hold my nephew in my arms for the first time, to embrace my mother, to hear my dad tell a bad joke. We connect nearly every day virtually, but I yearn for real connection again.
— Anonymous, age 28
Yearning is an interesting emotion—given the current circumstances, I instantly think of it as an unpleasant feeling, but one of the participants wrote to me about how it can also be a pleasant feeling of longing. Maybe it’s a mixed emotion, in some cases, or perhaps it depends on what you’re yearning for, and why.
It’s been about a month since the last National Parks of Emotion Art Lab. So many of you have told me that you’re eager to hear about what’s happening with the project since then, and I’m eager to share. I’ll tell you what’s happening over the next while, as a series of Art Lab reports.